grrr

it's late and i am tired

wanted to blog

but pix refuse to work tonight

so here is my blog...

i go back to school tomorrow

so take luck, good care and have a great life.

wait school isn't death

so i'll be around

probably with even more insane posts than this one

if that is possible.




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why do you insist on stressing me out?!
is this just teenage drama?
is your situation as bad as you think?
choose what you want
this is your life
but i'm here... praying and worrying and hoping for the best
i love you
i'm sure your parents do too
they just don't know how to show it
try obeying them
life may turn around
but if you choose the streets, call me
i'll be here... praying and worrying and hoping for the best
i really do love you

In the Waiting

Pain
The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it's gone away

Pray
I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it's never fast enough for me

It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
When what I really want
Is just to see Your hand move

I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting

Time
Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Free
Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can't get beyond where I have been, but then

Again
The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own

~Greg Long

This has been my song for the last couple weeks and I wanted to share it. I have tried to get the music on here for it... but none of my options have worked so far. Oh, well. Enjoy the lyrics

Pix

I am too lazy to upload pix on here... so here is a link to the whole album. With very random annoying captions :P lol. Well, at least you can experience a small taste of NewMexico through my eyes.

New Mexico 2008

I went for a walk...

...alone last night. My senses were at peak. Many memories and random thoughts flooded my mind.

nose at work...

woodsmoke ~ camping in NM mountains

smelling mildew from the outside of someone's house ~ I can only imagine my allergies if I were to step inside their house!

freshly cut grass ~ my first time mowing lawn as a kid

lilacs ~ Susan's bushes that we played under everyday of the summer growing up

swampy water ~ an outing my HS Senior class took to a river

cigarette smoke ~ attending hundreds of wakes on Rosebud Rez

eyes at work...

moon ~ wherever you are you see the moon and it makes me feel closer to you

aquarium through a window ~ wiped a dry tear in memory of dear Zippy

swingset ~ 4 years old and playing with Kimberly and Emily in SC

padiddle ~ fun memories of my friend Clarissa ;)

cracked sidewalk ~ my ocd tendencies... i suddenly was very aware of my steps

I am very blessed. I have a good life. Thank you, God.

++

"Trials they come and friends they may go. All that matters is you, my Lord." ~ Rebecca St. James

brief reminiscence

These crosses are on the mesa by the Rock Springs Church. I love the sunset behind them and got this pic with my cell phone.

I made it home yesterday exhausted physically AND mentally/emotionally. I crashed into my bed and was shocked to wake up 18 hours later! I knew I was tired, but wow! I didn't realize I was THAT tired haha.



It is really hard to summarize everything that happened in two weeks into one semi-bearably-long post :) There will probably be multiple posts with more random bits as I have time and my memory recalls events. I managed to forget my photo card from my camera in NM so I will not have any pictures to post for awhile. But hopefully I will get it back soon.



There were times of goofy fun, hard work, and powerful ministry. I was overwhelmed with sadness to find out that two of 'our girls' from camp last year both have a baby now. One of them is 17 now and the other girl is just getting ready to turn 15! This gave me even more determination to make a difference in the lives that I could this year. It is so sad what hurting, lost people will do to try to make themselves happy, or to get money. If you think of it, please help me pray for these people. The teens all really need consistentancy in their life and they need someone to truly love them and be there for them. I am hoping to be part of that consistency by keeping contact and writing throughout the year.



Aside from the people, one of the biggest things I already miss is the weather and sky!!! It is amazing! Out there the altitude is higher, the sky is cleaner, the weather is drier! The stars at night are awesome. Almost every night I saw at least 2 shooting stars and a satellite. As soon as I stepped out of the airport yesterday I sighed and longed for some dry air. lol. It is going to take awhile to get used to the muggy humidity again!



Well, I need to close for now. There are a lot of things to be done. My lil sis is getting married in 4 days! I'll be around here somewhere and hopefully posting pix soon :)

work, camp, and working at camp

Yesterday was my last day at work, and I can't help but smile about it! I was thankful to have a job, don't get me wrong. But these smelly piles are not what I want to spend the rest of my life with. lol

There are some parts of the job I will miss though!! Like talking to my friends that I made there. Here is my bud, Ed, and me :)

...on my way home... last time to wear the scrubs :)

+++

Packing today for my trip to New Mexico! I think I am almost done with everything. Blogging was on my list of things to do today. I am sad that Keep Youth Camp and Mode Camp overlap each other. I've been to Mode every single year of my life but one :-/ I'm hoping to make it back in time for at least the last service.

Last night we were up at camp working and cleaning. Since I will miss camp I wore my (very dirty from working) Mode shirt last night to show 'team spirit' :)

I love these girls!!

the adults weren't the only ones working ;)

oh the the guys were working too :P

well, I should get back to packing... actually I should probably stop soon or I won't be able to fit things in my bag! :-/ I am leaving tomorrow afternoon and will be out in the boondocks with no blogger, facebook, email, texting, etc. (oh and I will be totally fine btw.. for those of you who worry about my well being lol) So long for now. Please pray for me as you think of it.

feelings

so happy i finally finished my independent study homework last week and put it in the mail this morning :)
+++
ecstatic that i turned in my two weeks notice at work... which means i will soon be on my way to NM for two weeks!!
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bittersweet that when i get back from my trip that my lil sis is getting married.
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and i don't want to think about life after that....

scary student teaching and the end of life as i know it.

kinda excited that i will be finally finished with college... but not knowing the next step... yeah i need to think about something else for awhile. lol
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overwhelmed because between now and July 18 i have 6 bolero jackets to sew, t-shirts to alter, and skirts to make/fix
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glad i have the day off today and i'm gonna go start on all this :D

summer life

I have had many different things happen recently that I thought... "I should blog that." But days later, I cannot remember what it is that I should have blogged. Here are a few that stand out fresher in my memory.
~~~
I have been reading Oswald Chambers. Last week this particular quote stood out to me and the idea has been fresh on my mind every day since.

"The routine of life is actually God's way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which come from Him. Don't always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in those common times of the drudgery of life by the power of God."

This goes along with my next ramble... Twice yesterday I was told to "make it a great day". And I actually had a really good day. My job has been a rough adjustment for me. The work is overwhelming and I feel pressured to constantly rush. This tends to make me grumpy and I get a bad attitude.

Throughout the day, when something would go wrong, "make it a great day" would come to mind; it was helpful to me :)

Slowly but surely I am becoming faster (almost sounds like an oxy-moron) with my work. I can now fold a 40lb. load of sheets in 15 minutes, and a 45lb. load of bed pads in about 8 minutes. And today I managed to do one more load than I had the day before... 15!

Needless to say, when I come home the LAST thing I want to do is laundry!! :P

~~~

I got a summons for jury duty the other day. I always thought that would be a cool experience, but was never summoned before. Well, I got it in the mail. They want me to serve on jury duty for a year! .... in Montana!! What in the world?! I have not lived there in 4 years!! LOL It made me laugh, now I have to still fill out the paper work and send it in with my new address and information, thus proving I have a reasonable excuse for requesting exemption.

~~~

I just got off of the phone a few minutes ago with the library. I just renewed a book for the second time. I don't know when it has taken me this long to read a novel! I am the type of reader who picks up a book and 4-5 hours later it is complete. Well, this one is a little longer... but still!!

I have stepped out of my box of familiar genre so to speak. A friend encouraged me to read one of her favorite books, Eragon. I did, and really enjoyed it. I am now reading the sequel, Eldest. It is the first time I have read any fantasy type books. I think these would be comparable in style to the Lord of the Rings or Chronicles. Hopefully, I will find the time to complete it soon. I think a third is now being written and will soon be printed, maybe I will finish it by then lol.

~~~

My brother, Ben, who is in the Air Force, surprised everyone and came home for a visit. He will be here for a week :D It is such a happy thing!! I am glad I have at least 2 days off work while he is home.

~~~

I am surprised (probably shouldn't be lol) this post has ended up being this long. I must stop now and get ready for church, among other things.

Happy Fathers' Day!

I have been very privileged to have such an awesome Dad. My Dad has always been there for me! And I have so many great memories!

Thank you, Dad, for being the best possible father to me!! I love you so soo much!
~punkin

I am sad that I do not have my own computer with all my pictures, but I did find this one to post.

work

I got a job. Whoohoo! Well, before you get too excited for me... it is one of those bearable ones that bring in some money :) definitely not my first pick. I survived two days of training and will be on my own starting Monday. I think once I get used to the smell and build some muscles in my arms I might possibly actually maybe enjoy it ;) we'll see. Here are a few pictures I took on my cell phone.

The worst part is sorting the dirty laundry


and loading it into the washers


after it is clean, it is just a lot of physical labor

Wet clothes can be very heavy!!! And hot sheets really burn your hands!

All of this takes place at Doctor's Nursing Home :D (My sis, Rhoda, is a CNA here and was able to let me know about the opening and put in a good word for me.) Aside from sorting, washing, drying, and folding I also get to pick up dirty laundry from each of four halls 4+ times a day and then deliver each of the loads to their clean linen closets. Hopefully I will be able to complete the expected 17 or 18 loads. It was easy to do that many with two of us working together... but we'll see :)

Well, I must share the computer, I have been informed that I have been online a LONG time, and I have a sibling waiting for a turn ;)